When you think you’re friends in real life but aren’t. Apparently I don’t censor myself online either.
Check out Wes’ blog here: http://sincerelyweslee.tumblr.com/
Awesomeness guaranteed.
Just your average 20somethings from LA living in a state of perpetual poverty and occasional sobriety. This is where we like to be loudly opinionated and politically incorrect.
urbanrum@gmail.com
urbanrum@gmail.com
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Consequences of Lacking a Mental Filter
On the aforementioned project, I missed a chance to meet a hot client and later saw him at happy hour.
Now, I can’t talk to ridiculously good looking people, especially when they look like a cross between Hugh Jackman and Daniel Henney. They make me forget what words are. With my impulsive and chatty nature, conversations tend to turn out like this:
Me: Hi I’m K. Don’t you work in [that] dept?
Him: Yeah, I don’t think we’ve met yet. My name’s Alan. Where do you work?
Me: So you’re Alan! I’ve heard so much about you. I’m on the team that’s working with yours right now. I was just on your floor today.
Him: Yup, pretty sure we’re on your shitlist now.
Me: Haha no big. It’ll be nice working together. Our meeting was rescheduled to next week cause you’re going to be out, golfing with your stepdad, right?
Him: How’d you know?
Me: Your team told me that. Oh you were just promoted to senior manager. Congrats!
Him: Yeah…
Me: Your name’s on my list and it still said manager. I mean it’s not my list. It’s a database I was looking at, because my cause needed to pull another consultant.
Him: That’s right, I did get a request about that…
Me: How fluent are you in these languages? We needed someone with that skill.
Him: Pretty fluent…
Me: I swear I’m not stalking you.
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Another Successful Work Week
For the past few weeks, I’ve been on this awesome new project. Some of my accomplishments so far:
- Delayed a client meeting because a coworker and I were buying coachella tickets. But who the fuck cares cause we have Coachella tickets!
- Copied a personal email, containing terms like “sexual revolution” into a deck I was working on. Saved the deck into the shared drive for my director. So he could send to the VP. And the company execs.
- Arrived late almost everyday because for various reasons. Like oversleeping. And getting lost.
- Forgot my laptop at my apt while at a different office. Went to home office to borrow one so I wouldn’t have to drive all the way back. Brought it to other office. Loaner didn’t work. Ended up going home to get my laptop anyway. This took 3.5 hours.
- Read an mail during a meeting that reminded me of my ex. Started sniffling. Eventually excused myself to go to the bathroom and cry.
- Completely zoned out during another meeting and didn’t take notes. Had to email the person back asking to “confirm” everything they just told me.
Just my way of letting my boss know that I’m due for a raise.
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Details of My Incompetence
It’s about 4:45AM. I left the office a short while ago, where I’ve already spent 24 hours of Memorial Day “weekend.” With more to come.
All I really wanted to do when I got home was have a nice glass of wine.
Apparently this shit is childproof. HOW DO I OPEN IT?!
If the second sleeping pill doesn’t kick in soon, I’m taking a Tylenol PM and calling it a night.
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Give me fire.
Give me danger.
Give me hope.
Give me desire.
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How to tell who your real friends are
K: Hey what's my middle name? APlace4Negativity: Are you getting hacked? K: LOL no pop quiz. you have 5 seconds. go! APlace4Negativity: I don't know if someone is using your phone to figure out the security answer to your bank APlace4Negativity: Are you comparing me to somebody else? APlace4Negativity: [name] K: LOL <3. I will give you something special when I see you K: I was just thinking that people don't know my middle name APlace4Negativity: Lol is this something you decided out of the blue and something you need to proclaim? APlace4Negativity: PSA: [name] is my middle name guys K: LMAO no someone just contacted me out of the blue knowing what it was K: so I texted you and all our closest friends to see if you guys knew -
Late Nights
The cleaning lady and I are both still at work right now.
She’s playing music on her iphone 4S.
I’m using my two year old blackberry.
They are not paying me enough for this.
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So this just hit the internet and it is fucking amazing. It’s so wonderfully overstylized and the music adds such freshness to this retelling.
Gird your loins.
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Public Service Announcement for LA drivers
After the shame of leaving an apology note for blocking someone in, I thought I should warn you all of my parking habits. I’m sorry in advance.
-K
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"She’s pretty self-cleaning. Plus she flips a bitch when I try and then I have to hold her down, and she just looks up at me with those big kitty eyes and meows and I end up feeling like a horrible person."
J., trying to give her cat a bath
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Rules of Social Interaction
Guys, conversations aren’t hard.
The girl at the party looking bored probably is, because some idiot keeps talking about his fancy job and his crazy weekend party plans. Whatever. Like last Friday night, he’s going to be alone in his nice apartment, with his big screen TV displaying his poor life choices. This is where you come in and swoop her away.
Be funny.
If you can’t be funny, be smart.
If you can’t be smart, be different.
If you can’t be different, be relevant.
If you can’t be relevant, do something crazy.
If all else fails, then for the love of god why are you still talking? You are that guy. -
"Seriously, Jeremy Lin has turned me, someone who has no interest in basketball whatsoever, into a believer. He’s as culturally powerful as that one jew that lived a couple thousand years ago"
J
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K: I was talking with the other analysts in my group today (23-25 years old). They were all taking about getting engaged. The 25 year old (girl) is close, and the 23 year old (guy) is apparently going to propose sometime this year. MAKE IT STOP J: Dang. That is really freaky. I can't make it stop, but I'll try to get us courtside seats to all the divorces five years from now ;). Lols not to be a negative nancy, but if you're planning on living to say 90, or god forbid, 100, chances are low you've met the love of your life in your early 20s. Denial ain't just a river in egypt. Just sayin'. -
K: just found out that ex-boyfriend is probably in a relationship. friend and i just had a really depressing videochat aplace4negativity: Well he is probably a lot of things. Like probably going to hell. Probably won't be able to have kids bc of low sperm count from too much pot. So don't worry about it. -
J: So i was on this cute guy's facebook and i looked at his fave music and it listed chris brown....well, there goes my lady boner. K: I totally judge guys based on their music / fashion / political preferences. BF is a republican. And he hates Obama. I'm going to forget that little tidbit J: lolol! really? ooo sexy.you guys will have heated debates and then hot hate sex with one another. i like.
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